HALF PLUS SEVEN
Is it weird / acceptable / immoral / advisable / creepy to engage in a romantic/sexual relationship with another person whose age is not close to one’s own?
How wide would you consider unreasonable the gap in years between your age and the other person’s age in said romantic/sexual relationship?
What exceptions would you make to this rule and why?
Compare and contrast the relationship between Lucy and Joseph in the Nick Hornby novel Just Like You and Nancy and Leo in the Sophie Hyde film Good Luck to You, Leo Grande, using no fewer than 5,000 words.
Sheen: The biggest difference between the two situations is that Lucy and Joseph enter into the relationship voluntarily whereas Leo is a sex worker hired by Nancy. For me, that’s what stands out.
Heen: But Lucy does pay Joseph at first.
Sheen: Yes, but not for sex. She pays him for babysitting.
Heen: She pays him to stay close before she makes her move and seduces him.
Sheen: Huh? That’s not what happens.
Heen: Think about it. He wouldn’t have attempted anything if she hadn’t made it happen. He wasn’t attracted to her, at first, but she was attracted to him.
Sheen: No, no, no, it was always mutual.
Heen: Well, in that case, the sex between Nancy and Leo was mutual. They both agreed to it; there was no coercion.
Sheen: That’s not the same thing, come on, you know it’s not the same.
Heen: And Nancy is much older than Leo whereas Lucy is just a bit older than Joseph.
Sheen: Not much difference there, I’d say.
Heen: Nancy is played by Emma Thompson, who was 62 at the time, and Leo was played by Daryl McCormack who was 30, OK? In Just Like You, Lucy is 42 and Joseph is 22, if I remember rightly, so the difference between the two age gaps is ten years.
Sheen: Yes, but if you’re a sex worker you don’t choose your client’s age.
Heen: The client sort of chooses the sex worker’s age, though.
Sheen: Yes, Nancy knows that Leo is much younger and it makes her feel uncomfortable but Leo doesn’t mind.
Heen: He’s a pro.
Sheen: Joseph isn’t uncomfortable having a girlfriend who is 20 years his senior but it takes Lucy a long time to feel OK about it.
Heen: True.
Sheen: It’s odd that in both couples…
Heen: Leo and Nancy aren’t a couple.
Sheen: You know what I mean.
Heen: A prostitute and a client? Not a couple. In fact, not a romantic/sexual relationship.
Sheen: Whoa… You don’t think Nancy and Leo have a relationship?
Heen: A transactional relationship, that’s all.
Sheen: No, no, no. They are practically starting a relationship when they realise it’s impossible.
Heen: What? Where do you get that from?
Sheen: And anyway, as I was saying, it’s odd that in both couples the younger man is black, and the elder woman is white.
Heen: That’s how the class system works.
Sheen: What are you talking about?
Heen: White guilt, blacks working for whites, ageist discrimination and unempowered women.
Sheen: Unempowered? I’d say both Nancy and Lucy are empowered! Lucy throws caution to the wind going out with Joseph, and Nancy makes a brave decision for her own sexual liberation.
Heen: Caution to the wind??
Sheen: She’s from a completely different background to him, she risks losing her friends and family by going out with a young black working-class guy, but she decides it’s worth it because they’re in love.
Heen: And Nancy? Paying for sex is empowering? Really?
Sheen: She’s not paying for sex. Well, she is, ok, but she’s not exploiting the sex worker.
Heen: Oh, because she’s a woman and he’s a man. I see, I see.
Sheen: And anyway, Leo the prostitute…
Heen: You mean “sex worker”.
Sheen: Leo the sex worker is the one who wants to continue the session when Nancy says she doesn’t want to go on with it.
Heen: So he forces her to have sex.
Sheen: No! You know fine well that’s not what happens! He sees that she’s shy and confused, and he gently insists, for her sake, not for his.
Heen: You really should listen to yourself, you know… Imagine it’s the other way round and Leo is the older white man and Nancy is the young black girl.
Sheen: But it’s NOT the other way round! That’s why it’s about empowerment. Nancy and Lucy defy convention, see?
Heen: By sleeping with black men half their age.
Sheen: Which brings us back to the age gap thing.
Heen: Do you know the half plus seven rule? It says that you shouldn’t have an erotic relationship with anybody who is less than half your age plus seven.
Sheen: How does that work?
Heen: Say you’re 40.
Sheen: Thanks.
Heen: Your partner can’t be younger than half, which is 20, plus seven, making it 27. That’s the cutoff point.
Sheen: Who says so.
Heen: It’s common knowledge.
Sheen: So if I’m 30, can I date a person who is 60?
Heen: Would you want to?
Sheen: Why not? Why do I have to wait till I’m 37?
Heen: You won’t be able to go out with them when you’re 37, because by then your partner will have reached the age of 67 so you’d have to be 33.5 + 7 = 40 years and six months.
Sheen: How cruel! That’s why I’m rooting for Lucy, who happily breaks this half plus seven rules.
Heen: And that probably explains why sex workers and their clients ignore the rule, too.
Sheen: Because men make the rules.
Heen: I don’t know where you get your ideas from.
Sheen: Is that 5,000 words?
Heen: No, but we can include quotes from the film and a few extracts of the dialogues in the book to fill it up to 5,000.
Sheen: You’ve done this before, I see.
Heen: Yes, unlike Nancy.
Sheen: And Lucy.
- Zaragozatwins, October 2023, as always.
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