What To Drink While Watching Breaking Bad


Sheen says:

I know this section is usually about films, that is, movies, o sea, pelis, and their corresponding beverage but the thing is my twin brother has become so positively fixated on this particular TV series that I decided it deserved to feature in this, our section of The Movie & The Beverage.


I am not going to spend hours of anybody’s time explaining what this show is about. I am working on the assumption that it’s sufficiently well-known on a universal basis for me to able to expound that if you are at least slightly in touch with What’s Happening On TV These Days (that’s WHOTTD for short – curiously the name of my friend Soraya’s new pet, an Abyssinian walrus hedgehog…) you know about Walter White, Jesse Pinkman, Gustavo Fring and company and what they get up to. And, should it happen that you have never had the pleasure of sinking yourself into the yuckythrilling world of drugdealing in New Mexico, all I can say is you are sooooo wrong if you think that The Sopranos and The Wire are where it’s at. Since Twin Peaks, TV has never soared so deep.


Breaking Bad is the first TV series (as far as I know – hey, I live in Zaragoza…!) that has been blogged and tweeted about so heavily while it is being shown, nay, as it is being made. It is being not re-written but pre-written by its fandom, anxious to know how Hank is going to get on after the shootout, if Skyler’s carwash is going to be a viable front, what Gus is going to do next… Personally, I think there’s great scope for a “Badger & Skinny Pete Show”, which I would set in Teruel, and the huge-sky desert thing could be beautifully recreated in Los Monegros. So actually, we’d have Tejón and Pedrito El Flaco : our own homegrown Zaragozan Breaking Bad spinoffs.


I would also try to work in the Smurfs somehow. This sick incestuous misogynist sect of stunted indigo fascists would fit in perfectly. Tejón and Pedrito learn Walt’s formula, emigrate to Zaragoza, and flood the market with their blue poison, aided by the Smurf underground network. Take no prisoners, fake no morality – that’s my motto. I think Heen would approve, too, but he’s too engrossed for me to ask him. We’re coming to the end of Season 4, so a lot of you have a head start on us and already know what’s going to happen (I have a soft spot for Marie…, tell me she’s going to be ok, ok?)


On the subject of Smurfs and blue things, I have to think that the best beverage to sip whilst absorbing Breaking Bad is a Blue Lagoon, which is a disturbing cocktail involving vodka, pineapple and curaçao, or a Hpnotiq, which you can read all about here if you care.


I have always suspected my brother Heen of having a Heisenberg side. He’d find a way of crystallizing Assam tea, is all.     


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