Before I Forget…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sheen says : Some people have pointed out to me that I have been very and uncharacteristically unforthcoming as regards my sojourn in the land of Xxxx. You were there for over a year, they remind me, So you must have plenty to talk about.

Well, I do and I don’t. There were good times and bad, at least I think there were, but it was mainly the bad stuff that came to mind when I first returned to Zaragoza, and sometimes I just couldn’t get it out of my head at all. We talk of “daydreaming”, but I was getting “daymares”.

So I started looking for ways to erase or at least assuage my memories and before long I stumbled across a method called Ice Cream Enforced Forgetfulness Therapy (ICEFT), created by one Jacqueline Bee in the seventies and now largely out of favour, for reasons which will soon become apparent to you, o reader.

This therapy isn’t really a therapy, it’s a technique. It is charmingly simple in its methodology and aesthetically rewarding in its application. All you have to do is, as soon as you get a nasty memory, stuff your face with as much ice cream as possible. The ice cream can be any flavour you like but must be as cold as you can handle. The idea is to “freeze out” the unpleasant memory the minute it starts to hatch – your brain gets a cold shock from the ice cream and the memory is dissolved in the ice cream as you swallow it.

As I say, you can use any sort of ice cream. Some people’s choice would be these silly new designer flavours with cherry and nougat and dough and cranberry crumble, but me being an old-fashioned conservative girl, I stick to old classics like vanilla, strawberry, chocolate, squirrel…

After just a few days on this treatment, I was delighted with the results. I’d start to recall some grim episode from my days in Xxxx, then grab a spoon and wolf down a load of ice cream and feel the memory being digested chillily in my tummy.

However, I then realized that the ice cream was also going to work on other chunks of my mental data base, destroying files that I hadn’t earmarked for deletion by any means. I was forgetting more than I wanted to. Uh oh!

Two or three urgent tablespoonfuls of vanilla ice cream were sufficient to wipe out all memories of my time as a basketball cheerleader; a medium-sized tub of raspberry ripple and my first boyfriend had vanished for good; after a few frantic gulps of stracciatella, there was no track of my ability to speak Thai (after all the work I’d put in, grrrrr).

When I cottoned on to what was going on, I aborted this therapy, as you can imagine, but by then it was too late. My remaining memory was in tatters, patchy and sketchy. Or petchy and skatchy, if you prefer.

That got me thinking about the film Memento, in which Guy Pearce loses his short term memory and has to keep taking Polaroid pictures of things and people, and tattooing his body with important information so that he doesn’t forget. My condition isn’t as bad as his, but at least his long term memory is intact.

And then there’s that film with Drew Barrymore and Adam Sandler, 500 First Dates, about a girl who wakes up every morning unable to remember anything of the day before and is convinced she is living in the past, the day before some accident or something that blocked out her ability to make new memories. I think I would remember Adam Sandler hitting on me every morning, but still.

So bear with me, o cherished reader. If some of what I write seems disjointed, it’s just that I have forgotten what I was writing about, or I’ve forgotten the word I was going to write. But I would never forget YOU.        Love, Sheen xxx

Oooh, I’ve just remembered… Pechi and Skachi are the mascots for the next Asian Games! Isn’t that a funny coincidence!

 

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3 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Snow Whiteout on December 8, 2010 at 2:59 pm

    I watched “50 First Dates” six or seven times before I realized I had watched it already. I blame Drew Barrymore for being so forgettable. And another thing, no, wait, what was it…? Damn!

    Reply

    • Posted by zaragozatwins on December 8, 2010 at 3:03 pm

      Yes, well, we all make mistakes. Why on earth you would wish to subject yourself to this movie more than four or five times escapes me. Have you considered a lobotomy? – Love, Sheen xxx

      Reply

  2. Posted by Clementine Kruczynski on December 10, 2010 at 2:42 am

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0338013/

    better than ice cream: Targeted memory erasure. It’s “a fictional non-surgical procedure. Its purpose is the focused erasure of memories, particularly unwanted and painful memories, and it is a mild form of brain damage which–to relieve his fears of the procedure, Dr. Mierzwiak tells Joel–is comparable to a “night of heavy drinking”. The procedure is performed exclusively by Lacuna Incorporated.” (From Wikipedia)

    Reply

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