Welcome Back, Sheen!

Flying home, soon to be .......... with her twin

Zaragoza, Spain – 31 Aug. 2010


Unconfirmed reports have confirmed that Sheen Martinez, a Spanish citizen, has been flogged and deported from the Gulf state of Xxxx. Ms Martinez was arrested last week and accused of “flagrant disregard for cultural traditions” of the country. She was found guilty at a secular Sharia court of “drunkenly attempting to seduce Mr A.M.B”, a local citizen. Mr B and his three wives reported Ms Martinez to the police who took her into custody following what unreliable witnesses described as “a blood battle” in which nobody got hurt.


In her defence, Ms Martinez said, “It was just a joke. It’s not like dropping a cat in a wheelie bin”. She had known Mr B, a respected businessman with a reputation for heavy drinking and philandering, for almost a year.


Ms Martinez’s lawyer, M.B.M, who wishes to remain anonymous, renounced his client after she called him a “loser”. She defended herself, not very well, throughout the court proceedings and then defiantly broke down in tears when the judge passed sentence.


The flogging took place behind the bicycle sheds at the local police station. Afterwards, Ms Martinez remarked, “It wasn’t all that bad, actually.”


Ms Martinez is due to fly back to Spain as soon as she can raise the money for her air fare. She will be reunited with her twin brother, Heen Martinez, in Zaragoza.


A spokeswoman for the “Welcome Back Sheen All Is Forgiven” Committee, Ms Soraya Campos, has said this is a triumph for democracy and women’s rights.


2 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Mohammed on September 1, 2010 at 6:13 pm

    Good riddance to the sharmoota! A curse on her and her family! May she never return to our blessed country! Oh, and she owes me a bottle of tequila.


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