Jacko Not To Chill Out In Zaragoza – Official!

It's so lonely without you...

It's so lonely without you...

Jacko Not To Chill Out In Zaragoza – official.


ZARAGOZA – 26 June 2009


Contrary to initial rumors, Michael Jackson will not be frozen in the “Dead Cold Cryogenia Center” of Zaragoza, we are able to inform this evening. Despite the agreement subscribed between the “king of pop” and Heen Martínez, director of “Dead Cold” three years ago, Jackson’s lawyers have ruled out any possibility of the corpse being shipped to Spain.


“It’s a logistics thing”, explained an anonymous source, close to the family. “And anyway, Zaragoza is, like, miles away.”


“Until the autopsy is over, there is no question of this stiff going anywhere”, announced a police spokesman.


“We are disappointed with the Jackson entourage”, said Sheen Martínez, president of the Zaragoza Branch of the Jackson Five Support Committee. “It’s obviously a huge blow for cryogenics in general, and Zaragoza in particular. We were really looking forward to freezing Michael here.”


“However, this shouldn’t dent Spain’s hopes in next year’s FIFA World Cup”, she added, unnecessarily.


Heen Martínez confirmed that the “Zaragoza Twins and Michael Jackson On Ice” spectacle, programmed for next October, will probably be axed.


“It’s just not a happening thing, is it”, he regretted.


Meanwhile, Zaragozan beauty Soraya Campos, has revealed that her 2 year-old-baby is the fruit of a one-night stand with Michael Jackson.


Blond, blue-eyed Prince Wacko bears no earthly resemblance to Michael Jackson, but has been known to hum along to “We Are The World” and apparently feels “restless” when he hears the line in “Billie Jean” that goes: “The kid is not my son.”


“I think the very least Jackson could do is admit he impregnated me”, said Campos. “I mean, OK, when he was alive, he wasn’t going to, but he could just sort of give me a sign or something.”


Her lawyer, Mr Somontano Monkey, promised firm legal action. “Pounding fists of implacable fury shall prevail; it don’t matter if you’re black or white”, he observed.


–         Zaragoza Twins Impossible News Agency.


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