What To Drink While Watching “Marley & Me”

    Marley

 

If you are like me (OK, you’re not, I know) there will be about 500 films that come out every year that you actively avoid going to see. Unfortunately, some of these are literally unavoidable, especially if you’re trapped on a plane crossing the Atlantic and they show the thing on those screens you can’t help looking at even though you’d rather read your book.

This is what happened to me the other day when I was flying to New York. They showed three films and I’ve tried my best to forget them all but “Marley and Me” has proved to be unforgettable, even though I watched it without sound (would I bother to use a headset for this kind of dross?)

So I’ve decided to include it here, in this “What to drink while watching…” category of our blog.

It stars Jennifer Aniston and that guy whose name I can never remember, something with Owen in it – Michael Owen? Clive Owen? Wilfred Owen? I’ll just stick to Owen.

Anyway. From what I surmised, viewing this movie without hearing any dialogue, Owen is having a serious relationship with a puppy called Delta Airways, which seems a bizarre name for a dog, but there you go. He adopts a hysterical woman (Jennifer Marley) who is now out of work since Friends finished, and things go well for a time until she develops some kind of eating disorder, and has to be put down.

I must confess there was a big chunk in the middle of the film that I didn’t see, because I was reading the Mahabharata, and just as the film was finishing the stewardess was asking people if they wanted tea, coffee, water? This may explain why the movie made so little sense. In the final scene, Owen buries Jennifer in his garden while Delta is fixing a sandwich in the kitchen. Such a poignant moment, o reader.

What to drink while watching this masterpiece? Well, my choices were limited. American coffee is bad at the best of times, and airline coffee is even worse. Ditto, tea. They always say you should drink lots of water on planes, for some reason, but I was in an obstreperous mood, so I went for coffee. It was atrocious, and went perfectly with the movie on my screen.

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