Your Fishodiac Horoscope Update

No tall dark strangers, please

No tall dark strangers, please


Do you care about your lucky stars? Really? You realise, of course, that all horoscopes are horse manure, don’t you. Yes, all of them. Except this one: the Zaragoza Twins’ very own exclusive Fishodiac. In case you have forgotten what fish sign you are, click on this explanatory link:


It’s been a pretty dull time of late in the stars, which is the main reason we haven’t updated this section for a while. The second reason is that we don’t actually believe any of this nonsense. But, for what it’s worth, here is the Spring/Summer collection of the Fishodiac.


The Flounder

Happiness Index Rating: 59%

Scary Day: May 14

Lucky Novel: Heart of Darkness, Joseph Conrad


The Pilchard

Stress Factor: B+

Thrill Day: June 2

Lucky Airline: Aeroflot


The Stickleback

Caution Ranking: 78

Boring Day: June 5

Lucky Film Director: John Ford


The Carp

Cynicism Rate: 20/30

Forgettable Day: May 28

Lucky Mobile Phone: Samsung G550


The Minnow

Generosity Index: C

Allergic Day: July 17

Lucky Continent: Asia


The Red Mullet

Desirability Rank: 4,582

Religious Day: May 30

Lucky Kitchen Appliance: Microwave oven


The John Dory

Apathy Rating: AAB

Hilarity Day: June 20

Lucky Beer: Becks


The Turbot

Stupidity Factor: 9

Insignificant Day: July 4

Lucky Nazi: Hermann Goering




Zaragoza Twins would like to stress that the above is infallible and 100% guaranteed. However, we are aware that in this present economic climate, there is no such thing as a free lunch and that “wishful thinking” and faith are not synonyms. Make of that what you will.




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